Happy Adoption Day!!!

So May 26 is the official adoption day, but we celebrated this past weekend by going to a water park. Gianna got to choose where we went, and out of the options (zoo, aquarium, I forget what other options we gave her) she picked water park!  We headed up to Great Wolf Lodge for a few days of fun.  The kids had a BLAST!!!

Wolf ears are standard issue upon checkin.  Here we are surveying the water park.

This trip we got to marvel at how far we've come behaviorally with our eldest.  She allowed herself to enjoy the whole experience!  Nine months ago she would have probably found a reason, any reason, to sabotage the fun and sulk in a corner for an hour and a half.  Or her anxiety would have been through the roof at every water slide and pool and sprinkle of water, and she would have wanted to go on but then bailed and whined and hem-hawed and not really done anything and then been withdrawn and sullen because she didn't get to experience the fun.  Battling yourself must be almost as exhausting as reading that run-on sentence.  INSTEAD - you have never seen such joy and elation!  Or such bravery!  You could see it in her eyes - she was not about to let anything get in the way of her enjoyment of the activities.  She needed next to no encouragement to slide down the bigger kid slides, even when her head got underwater at the end!  She was the first to volunteer to go down the biggest slides with me.  Everyone got a little whiney and tired by the end of the day, ("But I don't WANT to go over there..." type thing), but with just a dash of acknowledgement and encouragement to follow the family, she complied readily and happily.  It was... was... almost like... like a normal kid!  I was so impressed and happy I could have fainted.  We were all ready with a "sabotage plan" should we need it, and to our joy, we did not need to employ it!  She had one 30-second withdrawn anxiety-fest once when she fell and bumped her arm.  But Dad simply said "I see you fell and bumped your arm.  That stinks!  Come Gianna, we're going to get splashed by the bucket!"  And that was it.  Off she went.  Healed!  It's a miracle! :)

Our room had a separate little "cabin" for the kids.  Very cute!

Kian was also very brave and tackled some big things that surprised me.  He was determined to learn to swim and he got quite a bit of coordination down on a life-jacketed doggie paddle.  He even started to make forward motion by the end of the day!

Again! Again!

This smaller one she did over and over again, too, even though her head got wet almost every time.

Enjoying and "bucket of ice cream" break

Happy Adoption Day to our amazing little family girl, Gianna!!!

Spring

So why talk on and on when I can post pictures?  Here are some recent photos for your enjoyment!

This photos is special in particular because it shows Gianna's growth in social situation.  That blur is her running around with palm branches in church on Palm Sunday.  A year ago she was huddled in my shoulder petrified of other people.

Now here she is the confident little miss, feeling comfortable in her environs!

Here we see Gianna working on right/left coordination, practicing with new gross motor movements, applying her nascent knowledge that if Mom and Dad say it's safe and that she's ok - that she'll more than likely be ok, and overcoming her fears and anxieties and misbeliefs that the world is inherently against her and she must maintain control at all costs or any new situation will likely result in death.  Oh, and she's learning to ride a bike. :)

First Easter eggs!  She looooooovvveeesss hard-boiled eggs, so to Gianna, this tradition is the bees knees!  Next year we tackle the pysanky - the traditional Ukrainian Easter eggs!

Flying a homemade kite in the spring breeze!

Ponds are the best

A tulip that we planted together is growing!  No one is more excited as Gianna.  Tulips were blooming everywhere in Ukraine when we left last year.  It's a bittersweet memory for her, but we paid tribute to this memory by planting our own tulip bed last fall - and here they are blooming just in time to celebrate her adoption anniversary!  Anniversaries are happy but sad.  They're happy-sad.

But there's also mustache day at school - and who can be too too sad while sporting a superior 'stache?  I ask you, who?

Gianna's birthday! and more updates

So there's much to say again!

Gianna had her birthday party which was awesome.  She did stellar and our reality checks in the weeks that preceded the event paid off, because she was very pleased with the experience even though she did not get a Frozen car and life-size Anna and Elsa castle.  :)  She did get her hamster named Lolly, and they have been fast friends ever since.  She takes really great care of that little thing and it's going really well so far.

her guests

her dolphin party!

Gianna has steadily been gaining ground emotionally and joining with the family more.  She's really starting to show us some very good days which I have faith will be our norm soon.  We've been having a lot of fun the last month or so.

her first sled ride!

assimilating to the Amish culture quite well. :)

Her new best friend, Lolly

ice cave!

Updates!

So here's a rundown of things we've been through these past months:

Gianna has been doing well in school.  She continues to learn and make progress.  She gets much one on one help.  At home she does homework supplied by a parent coordinator.  The parent coordinator comes once a month to bring me games and things that supplement what she's learning in the classroom.  This is nice, because it keeps her and I interacting when the evenings get to be so full, but it keeps up the expectation that homework happens every day.  She rode the bus for the first time this week!  It's a very long ride for her, but I think she likes it and it gives her a chance to diffuse before coming home.  We're trying it, anyway, and I think it's a positive thing for her.

We had Gianna dedicated in church.  She surprised us in her response to this.  We had prepped her some, but to avoid making her funky about the attention, we decided to dedicate her from our seat instead of going up front.  The pastors were so gentle about our wishes for her dedication.  We wanted it simple and understated.  Lots of attention still overwhelms her.  But when the pastor came to our seat to pray for her, we had planned for her just to stand next to us.  She wished to try to lay her hand on Gianna, but we weren't sure how she would respond.  I told her that she should try and if she turned away or withdrew, we would deal with it at that point.  It was to be the last part of the dedication.  Instead, Gianna turned towards her and looked right at her face the whole prayer.  She was very intent and I think she absorbed a lot more of the dedication than we may realize.  It was a surprise blessing.

Here we are reading our letter and prayer to her.

Also, Gianna got her hair cut!  She was looking forward to this for so long.  She wanted short hair like Riley in Inside Out.  She was a behavioral mess that day, and I feared we were not going to be able to go.  She pulled it together and we were able to go to our appointment.  She was so happy, and of course me too!

The finished product.  Doesn't she look so so so grown up???  *sniff* My beautiful girl.

The other biggest things have been our medical and counseling appointments.  Gianna had trouble gaining weight.  The first several months she was steadily losing.  At first they said it was because she was so much more active.  I tried switching her to whole milk, and pumping tons of calories in her food any way I could.  She was eating a whole lot better than when she first arrived home, so after these things didn't seem to change her weight much, I was concerned.  We started some Pediasure in the evenings at the advice of the adoption doctor, and are following her weight here with our local family doctor.  Finally she started gaining weight again!  What a relief.

She had her last appointment with the adoption doctor, which included another developmental test.  She blew me away with the results.  She has effectively closed the gap on many developmental elements.  She is now "average" in all but a few areas.  She's becoming developmentally more like a 7 year old!  So now we are following up with another test in 6 months just to watch how her language acquisition progresses.  Otherwise they wouldn't need to follow up at all.  That was very exciting.  Now we start taking her to a regular family doctor to manage the rest of her care.  Updating her immunizations, following her weight, and regular checkups.  That feels like a milestone!

I would like to think that every part of Gianna is like a typically developing 7 year old, but that would be far from the truth.  Some areas not tested at the adoption doctor - but very important - are her emotional and attachment health.  We knew before we even got a referral that we were going to be taking our new child to adoption/attachment/trauma therapy.  This is proving to be a good idea.  Gianna is showing us the depth of her unresolved grief and has displayed many signs of attachment difficulties. Our therapist has guided us through the beginning stages of healing Gianna's heart and mind.  We have started leading her through learning initiative, internal motivation, about the routines of a family, what happens when we get mad or sad, and roles of parents and children.  It's been a ride to be sure, and Gianna has given us much behavioral challenges.  We are hopeful that she will grow into an individual that can give and receive love in a family, enter into mutually gratifying relationships, and realize her great worth.

You're worth it, Gianna.  We love you!!!

HOME - Teeth

Teeth.  Chompers.  Pearly whites.  We take them for granted.  When they are solid and strong, we can bite, chew, talk.  When they are brittle and brown/black and broken or worn away, it causes pain, difficulty eating, infections.  Gianna has had quite a journey with her teeth.  When she was found, she had very poor dentition.  When we met her, she had a few adult teeth poking through.  Since we've known her, she's grown two nice healthy front teeth and a few molars are coming in nicely.  I'm going to be perfectly honest - up until 5 months ago - I'm not sure how she chewed.  Her mouth was always crusted with yellow on the edges - signs of the infections dwelling within.  I have decided not to post pictures of her teeth before revision for her sake.  We love everything about Gianna, and we love her just as she is.  Even when we first met her and her teeth were at their worst - we loved her beautiful smile and knew it was just part of her and how she looked.  We got used to them so quickly and much of the time didn't even give them a thought.  But we also talked to her about it and used a line from the book "Corduroy".  "We love you just as you are.  But you'll probably be more comfortable with strong healthy teeth."  It was apparent from the start that they caused her pain and difficulty eating - even though when we would ask if her teeth hurt she would say "no".  She seemed self-conscious about them and we tried hard to present an air of gentle acceptance.  She was very proud of the few white teeth she had on the bottom, and the two on top that were growing in quickly.

The first dental visit was scary, but Gianna did great and made faces for the dentist so that she could see all her teeth.  As promised, she collected some treasured dolls with every visit.

She had 12 rotten baby teeth that needed removed, and four 6-year molars that had come in in the orphanage and needed filled.

The first tooth fell out in the playground.  The second day of school, she fell and landed directly on her mouth.  Sure enough, on the way home in the van she pulled out one of her baby teeth.  On the top on the right side, it came out root and all.  Under the pillow it went and the next day she got a necklace!  She was very excited about that.

The next 3 teeth came out a week before her surgery.  They treated her for 3 abscesses the first visit, and then it was almost 3 months until her surgery.  I suspected that the abscesses would either come back, or she would need to be treated prophylactically.  I was ready to call about this issue before her surgery, but sure enough 2 1/2 weeks before her surgery she started complaining about a painful tooth.  I looked in there and even though I have limited knowledge, I was pretty sure it was an abscess.  The dentist office got her in the next day.  Not surprising, there were three more abscesses.

They pulled three teeth in the office that day.  She got to take them home in a little box.

The next tooth was pulled out by Gianna again.  One of the rotten front baby teeth was being pushed up in front of the growing adult tooth.  It was broken and sharp.  This probably was terribly uncomfortable scraping on her lip all the time.  She pulled at that thing quite a lot - she was determined to remove it.  Eventually she was successful!  Another visit from the tooth fairy!  She was coming to our house a lot there for a while!

Now there were only 7 teeth left to remove in surgery.  The surgery day came and Gianna did great!  The dentist doing the surgery removed 8 teeth (my math didn't work out, not sure where the 8th one was hiding) and filled the four molars.  Finally all her baby teeth were gone.  Her smile looked different immediately, and then the difference was even more profound when the swelling went down.  All of a sudden, she was left with an adorable gap-toothed but healthy set of teeth!  Four molars are all coming in quite quickly, so soon she will have biting AND chewing power!  And we are excited that she can be finally free from all that pain and difficulty eating.  Thank you God for talented and dedicated dentists!  They were all wonderful at Canton Pediatric Dental and at Akron Children's Hospital.  Thank you!

surgery day, recovering and eating a popsicle

ready to go home, still dazed and tired

eating more soup and pudding than I though was humanly possible

HOME - School

Gianna has been in school for a month!  What a journey it's been!  She is doing REMARKABLE as per usual, and I'm able to relax a bit and reflect.  I praise God for the choices we made - I'm optimistic about them.  I can't say enough about our school district - they have been amazing.  That first meeting - I didn't know what to expect.  I basically went to tell them a bit about her background, my concerns about her social anxiety, and ask their advice.  I was ready to fight for special services and did not need to.  They were happy to accommodate my every wish for her socially, and are giving her all the support they can in reading, English vocabulary and math.  They recommended we wait to get her officially evaluated (like for an IEP) until she knows more English - maybe later in the winter.  This is supposedly what schools always say and it's not supposed to be this way.  They're by law supposed to get a translator and do an evaluation as soon as it can be done.  However, I had no problem with this plan for several reasons.  Firstly, they were giving her a lot of academic support anyway (my expectations for her academically are rock bottom this year, though, just because - you know - everything).  Secondly, they are accommodating my every request to make sure that school is first and foremost a pleasant environment and she is not a slave to her anxiety.  Thirdly, at that point in her journey, she was withdrawing when she heard the Russian language and was not responding at. all. to any directives given by a stranger.  So an evaluation at that time would have been not only traumatic, but simply inaccurate information.  This is my belief.
So, what did we do to ease her into an American school system?  We took every single piece of advice given to us by our support team and did it all.  And I'm glad we did it.  I would not change a thing.  She was just ready enough for every turn we led her on.  Here is a run-down:

Prior to school: 3 school tours to see her room, bathrooms, cafeteria, playground etc; met with the teacher once (nothing fancy or long - just a hello); got to see her desk once before Open House; I had a lengthy meeting with the teacher giving her articles, a letter I had written, explaining Gianna and her behaviors, and answering her questions.

Open House: got there half an hour early to talk to the teacher and leisurely put her things in her desk.  As soon as more kids showed up and I was getting signs from her that she was about to shut down, we left.

First day of school: I prepped her on the course of the day, where I would be sitting, and that I couldn't hold or carry her.  We left at noon.

Second day of school: I went with her, sat in the back of the class again, but took an hour to have a meeting and make myself scarce until I rejoined her before lunch.  Left at noon again.

Third and fourth days of school to complete the first week:  I dropped her off, explained and gave her a clock and a picture schedule, picked her up after lunch.

Second week of school: Dropped her off and picked her up at 2:30 every day (after special classes like art and music)

Third and fourth weeks of school: Dropped her off and picked her up every day at the end of the day.

She responded well with each change - a day or two of controlling behaviors with each adjustment including the day she had a substitute teacher unexpectedly - and then she was content and responsive again.  She needed a lot of assistance for a while even with writing anything (her anxiety would make her pretty frozen in performing tasks).  Now she does things pretty willingly and each week gets more and more relaxed.  Earlier this week the teacher mentioned how she smiled at something another child said.  That was a first, and I hope a first of many.

Gianna on her first day of school.

My big girl.

HOME - 3 months

This last few weeks has been very challenging, but we are seeing some positive progress and the majority of the days are "good" now.  The kids are all getting along better and tolerating each other better.  Gianna is finally on our dental insurance! The school is being so accommodating with Gianna's special circumstances and needs.  We're in a really good place right now.  Our next hurdle is getting school started.  Then we can start getting into the school groove and figuring out how that will work.  Gianna is very excited to go and has seen the building already.  After much deliberation and conversations, she will be in 1st grade.  We are going to work hard to ensure that first of all, it's a positive experience, and second, that she can get the academic help she needs to fill in gaps.  Kian will start preschool a week or so later, and he is very excited as well!  He's excited to have little friends who don't mind him roaring at them!

Some pictures of our summer:

Playing together at the park

looking at the dead moth that Gianna found

swimming!

my adorable Viking children

Gianna found this baby gym in the give-away pile and she played in it for a few days, even slept in it for a few nights!

She had her first dental visit and was so brave.  I told her beforehand that no matter how it went, she would get Anna and Elsa dolls.  She did great and let the dentist poke around her teeth like a champ.

playing hospital

brrrrr

Gianna on a carousel!  I think she even loved it!

A little nervous to ride the horses but did great

We spend a lot of time in the van going to appointments.

releasing her little tree frog friend

this girl is my shining star

another hospital patient. this hospital really cares about creating a pleasantly decorated environment for their patients :)

She went to her developmental appointment dressed as Belle per her request.  I think she actually had less anxiety because of it!

She watched some baby birds in our hanging basket for a couple days, until they flew away.  She brought them little nuts and grasses as gifts.