Saturday, March 11, 2017

Goodbye Smartphone Day 1,047

I have a cellphone.  It makes phone calls and it sends texts and it takes better pictures than my digital camera I had in college.  I am content.  Guess what.  Maybe you read the title.  I still have not returned to a smartphone.

I posted about this decision all the way back in 2014.  I posted a 7 day follow up... um... 7 days later.  I am still so happy about my decision.  The more that time goes by, and especially on the days that I am particularly productive and not glued to my facebook feed, I am so grateful that I don't have something convincing me to look at it every 15 minutes.  (Besides my kids.  I want them to convince me to look at them every 15 minutes.)  Ok I'll be honest.  There are days that I spend too much time on facebook cuz I check email and then hover over and get caught.  OK and let's be honest some more.  I'm pretty productive in general because of I'm from strong Mohler stock.  Nothing to do with a cellphone.

Sigh, alright, YES it would be nice to get that up-to-date traffic information that warns me of delays on my Q2wk trips to Cleveland.  Aaaaaand every time someone tells me about a really neat app on their phone I just know I'm getting further and further and further behind in the "loop".  Aaaand there are those times that someone asks about my kids and then we both sit in that awkward space that now happens after the question "do you have pictures?"  I then must decide whether I want to show them my pixelly pictures and then have to deal with the embarrassment of whipping out my dumbphone or figure out how to get out of showing them pictures at all.  The struggle is real.  Aaaaand if you've ever texted a few emojis and you thought it might elicit an lol or a larger response and you didn't get it, it's cuz I can't receive emojis.  Or memes.  Too bad, cuz memes are funny and can really communicate in their own unique way.  I get little rectangles and "Unable to play message"-s.  It's a drag.

And it would be remiss of me not to mention those two times that I was at a women's bible study and the "take-home" was the fact that it's helpful to have an app that bings on your phone and sends you a bible verse to read every morning and handily reminds you to pray.  That happened twice.  It was awkward for me.  I'm not knockin' that app.  Not at all.  It sounds amazing.  The majority of the ladies got out their phones amidst spiritual oohs and aahs and immediately downloaded the app and there I sat.  Staring at the wall wondering how I was going to remember to pray.  I hope I can rely my internal will!  My memory is fickle and untrustworthy at best.

But that precisely brings me to my next thoughts.  Many times I feel like a cartoon character who has just been dropped in a crazy new world as an outsider looking in.  I'm also watching our culture in general more and more dependent on technology as a whole.  Me included!  I do own a computer and a Garmin and use it frequently.  But I'm also watching more and more people glued to their phones.  Even after those strikingly convincing YouTube videos circulated!  Those almost ridiculous looking scenes of people at restaurants and instead of talking are looking at their phones are now normalized.  But major discussion on that "issue" was a few years ago so basically from the dark ages now.  More so now than ever I have a deep sense that I'm still doing what I know in my heart is the most right for me.  And because of this I'm proud to practice patience and wait for the answer that could be found instantly on Wikipedia.  And I'm happy to wait in traffic because my Garmin hasn't been updated for 6 months and doesn't know that there's construction on this road.  And I'm glad to use several mental breaks a day as I wait in the parent-pickup at my kids' school or sit in a waiting room or wait for a friend at a restaurant.  I like sitting in my thoughts and I feel grateful that I still know how to do it.

Some smartphoners:


Ok that was kinda mean.  So's this: I do get a small sense of glee every time my friends and family wait for their phone to respond to something they are trying to do.  Even making a call.  So sad.  I want to type in a number and it comes up the instant - the instant - I push my keys.  So don't tell me my little LG doesn't have some elements of convenience.

Some people:


And guess what.  My phone is YEARS old.  YEARS.  So many years that I'm not even sure how many years old it is.  YEARS.  Count 'em.  That's a plural.  MULTIPLE for those less familiar with the English language.

Some people:

And my phone is durable too.  There's one visible scuff mark out of the dozens of times I've dropped it.  I look at some people's spider-webbed smartphone screens with morbid curiosity as to how it even functions.

Here's what it would look like if I knew more than two other people with dumb phones.  There used to be more.  They're dropping like flies.  The higher the iPhone numbers go, the less people I know who don't have them.
We'd probably have conversations like this.  I'm talking to you, Linda and Brooke.  Look at what you're missing out on.  All the fun we could have.

And then there's this.  When I dropped my smartphone and all the data accoutrements, our bill dwindled to a fraction and it hasn't risen very much since.

Some people:

I'm all like:

Desiree, I have to mention this since we were just talking about it.  Especially my husband who has a flip-phone can certainly speak to this one.
Some people:

I feel bad for my kids, kinda.  Cuz now that I'm sold on my decision, it's going to take some drastic action to convince me otherwise.  My children are going to grow up and I wonder if it'll be like it is now.  If it is, here's how it might look:

While at the Miller house:
My poor kids.

So there's the skinny.  1,047 regretless days without my smartphone.  I love it so much.  Thanks for letting me share my experience and making it through all the way to the end of this crazy post.

And now for the funniest meme ever!!!:

(Unable to play meme)

Stinks, huh?  Oh well.  Still #worthit.