Timeline... ish... (!)

We got a timeline!  It's a rudimentary one, and I'm constantly reminded that we are working in the world of adoption - in which timelines are weak at best and futile at worst.  But... suffice it to say, we are projected to be done with our home study (phew!) in April.  Maybe May.  (we really only have one more meeting which is the safety survey of our house - but.. you know... I'm just extending it a month because you never know, you know?)  K, if all that goes as planned, we could... potentially... hopefully... cross your fingers... be traveling in Sept-Nov sometime!  No really, isn't that just the funniest timeline you've ever heard?  Still, we are clinging to it because we haven't had anything like it thus far.  So... by 2017... just kidding. :)

Also, Zack has been promoted to manager at his job!  That's such an exciting thing and we really are very positive and hopeful about this change.

My parent's house is coming along nicely - potentially the move there could happen this summer.  Will that ever be a relief, because we have long outgrown this space.  Once again... making it work.  (Side note - MAN, will I miss this house!)

Lastly, this post made me cry, darn it!  We have been so ready for hard stuff that it's like, come on, let's get going with it already!  Like waiting for a shot - you know it's going to be painful so let's do this already!  For all those wondering - and for my mother - I know there is a lot to do yet and so I AM grateful for the time we have to learn even more and get even more ducks in a row, but it doesn't make the waiting easier.

Fire Inspection

I know several of my posts have said the same thing, "We're finishing up our home study", but this really feels like the home stretch.  I only fitting word I can find for this segment of our journey is "slogging."  I hear of people getting their home study done in a few weeks' time, and I look at our paperwork and our journey and I think, "How???"  We really are plugging at it at the fastest pace we are able, due to our family and work and other commitments.  Except for those times that I wrongfully go about comparing our situation, we feel very good about where we are.  We believe whole-heartedly that things are happening in the timing that they are supposed to, with God's leading.  We are trusting and chipping away at it.  A quote from Dory in Finding Nemo - "Just keep slogging".  Wait... something doesn't sound right about that... hmmm.

Several things did happen lately that suggest progression.  We went through the classes up in Kent.  That was a big check mark on our to do list.  Despite the horrible weather and slow travel and finding sitters through the flu season, we did it!!!  We were to have our 7th and final class session on Sunday, during the weekend that I work (I would have worked the night before, slept in the car on the way up and on the way back, and then gone to work that night again), but it was cancelled and we were given instructions to do it online.  I thought that was pretty cool.  Nextly, we had our fire inspection today.  They were supposed to come between 9 and 10, and then we watched the fire trucks and several ambulances drive past sirens blazing at 8am and I wondered if we would see them.  Sure enough, at almost 1pm an ambulance pulled up in our driveway and three smoky, cold firemen traipsed through our house spreading water and snow from their boots.  They explained how they had just come from the house fire that lasted all morning.  I thanked them for coming out anyway, and apologized profusely that the house was such a mess (moments before their arrival, Logan had decided to empty the bookshelf of all the books and evenly distribute them across the floor, basically spelling out "fire hazard").  They checked our smoke detectors and fire extinguishers, commented on the artistry of my evacuation plan, and chatted with Kian who described to them in detail how he was pretending to be Barney Wigglesworth from one of his bedtime stories.  They laughed about his sister coming from "My Kraine", (we tell him his sister is coming from Ukraine and he thinks we are saying "Your Kraine").  The miracle of it all?  Logan slept through the whole ordeal!!!  The blaring beeps of the smoke detectors, and even the fireman coming up into his room to check out the egress points.  I am not even kidding, this is a miracle of miracles.  I am praising God today.

Thanks all, for following along with this arduous journey of ours.  It continues, but we are seeing progress!  It gets more and more real!!!  Hang on little lady, we are coming... slowly but surely!

My adoption reading list

This is a rundown of the books I have read thus far.  Yes, I have read every one of these books cover to cover and took extensive notes on the majority.  We are trying our best to be prepared for anything.  These kids are full of surprises and we want to have a basic knowledge of everything we can get our hands on.  We are also collecting a ton of resources (like programs, attachment centers, counselors, people) so that we can draw on experienced ones when a problem occurs.  Some of these books are warm and entertaining, some of hard-hitting and make me a little sick to my stomach.  The vast majority are very hard to read and difficult to wrap my head around.  The problems orphans face in the world are tragic and scary and seem insurmountable.  Hope.  We must cling to hope.  We must try to do all we can for those in the world without families.  Everyone needs a family.
**= faves

**Toddler Adoption by Hopkins-Best:  First opened my eyes to the unique challenges that the toddlers have when being adopted.  Too young to understand what's going on, too old to be unaffected by the confusing move that's happening to them.  This book threw me for a loop but gave me a lot of hope.

Mei Mei by Bowen - pictures of Chinese orphans.  One look in their empty eyes and you feel a little queasy.

Welcome Home! by Lisa Schwartz - a collection of essays written by adoptive families.  So very interesting to read about the way things were done in the past compared to now.  Also to hear perspectives after 20 years have gone by, and some stories from the adoptees.

**The Waiting Child by Champnella - a favorite.  The world stopped and I couldn't put the book down.  I had to know if Xiao Mei Mei comes home!!!

Adopt Without Debt - Not a lot of new information, but was helpful to see how others did it.  It can be done!

The Grace Effect - required reading.  Zack and I read it together and we were intrigued by this family's perspective on the plight of the orphans in Ukraine.  Many of the things in the book were confirmations of what we've heard from many, many others.

When Work and Family Collide - an easy read about keeping family a priority.  A great reminder.  Recommended by someone we met from Christian Children's Home of Ohio.

**How We Love Our Kids - A game changer in parenting.  Learn about yourself and how you parent and small changes can make a huge difference.  A great, great book.

**The Connected Child by Karen Purvys - Dude, if I could just download this whole book to my brain, that would be greeeaaatttt.  All about forming attachment, enhancing brain chemistry, and helping your child process sensory input.  It's like seriously cool stuff.

**Parenting with Love and Logic - the nuts and bolts of our parenting theory.  So, so, cool and so, so, doable.  Every day I think about this book.  We've been practicing some things even on our very young ones!

Love and Logic Magic birth-6 years - tips for a challenging age.  Some helpful insights.

**Loving Our Kids on Purpose - inspired by Love and Logic, it puts the principles in a refreshing Christian perspective that is also freaking hilarious.  (Weird, I know).  Zack and I laughed until our guts ached.  What a great book.  Our favorite of all time.

**The Complete Book of International Adoption - recommended by a fellow prospective adoptive parent.  This book is the international adoption 101, start-here resource.  A great beginning course on everything you are going to need to know.  Shows you where to start.

In On It - what adoptive parents wish their families would know.  A good book, but I can't quite bring myself to make my family read it.  It's a great resource on adoption terminology and sensitivity.

The Edge of Unthinkable - recommended by a friend, this is a great book from the perspective of someone who went through the foster system from an abusive background.  A very important read.

Successful Adoption - the same type of "101" book as The Complete Book of International Adoption, only with a Christian perspective.  That was nice to read those Christian insights.

Adopting the Hurt Child - this one frightened me and had me in tears in the first chapter.  What some children go through just leaves you feeling like a big cloud of black in a dark hole in the bottom of a pit.  They don't mince words in this book, and the stories are horrific.  That being said, they present a lot of hope and tools for healing.  Next on my list are the sister books, Parenting the Hurt Child, and Brothers and Sisters about adopting sibling groups.  Wish me luck!

PAPERWORK - Home study update

A quick home study update.  We met with our social worker a few weeks ago.  She came to our house and got to know us a little bit.  More paperwork came our way, (this is a trend I'm getting used to), and we will be scheduling a few more visits and going to training in Jan and Feb.  These are the last few steps in the home study process - we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!  It's seemed like a long process for just our home study, but we're trying  not to compare our timeline to anyone else's and just trusting where and when God is leading us.  In other news - Zack got a new job! He will transition the end of this month to work for a local nonprofit - 61 Surplus.  Their profits all go to the aid of orphans - how appropriate!  He's excited to do something new.  The school jobs just weren't panning out.  He's working on his CDL and will take the test again mid January. He hopes to get a school bus driving job in the new school year (because the benefits at the school are just flipping awesome), but it looks like the insurance we will get on our own is pretty rad, too.  Just sayin', maybe Pat's prayer came to fruition.  (He prayed that Zack would find a job that he hadn't even thought of).  An old friend texting him randomly asking him if he'd be interested in this position sounds like just the answer to such a prayer.  We are nervous but hopeful.  Also, my parent's house is coming along - which sounds like we will be moving into our new, spacious abode sooner rather than later!  Praise the Lord!  God may have a few more surprises up his sleeve, but it seems like things are really coming together.  We spend each day ready for anything!  Buckle up, kiddo, we're comin' for ya!

MONEY - Enough

This is a picture of Kian's pants drawer.  It's just like it looks... empty.  But what you don't see is that downstairs, there are pants in a laundry basket waiting to be folded.  A similar thing happens with his underwear and socks, and with Logan's pants and onesies.  This says to me one thing: Isn't it great that I have enough?  I know I may get some quizzical looks, but let me explain.  I didn't have to do laundry a single day earlier than I usually do it.  Kian is dressed.  I have no want, I have no excess.  I have just enough.  This makes me immensely content.  My sister-in-law said to me the other day "Hey, I found some pants that would fit Kian, do you want them?"  I readily accepted, and it felt like an added blessing.  The more I keep in this mindset, the less I am apt to go out and impulse buy because I "need it".  That said, there are times that I do have a genuine need, and I can generally find these things at second hand stores, handmade, or fair trade because I wait for them and save for them.

This is Kian and Logan playing with their "new toys".  Every 2-3 weeks or so we rotate a box of toys (we have 4 that we go through) and toys that were boring a few months ago are new and fresh again.  Guess who avoids going to a toy store and buying new things because their kids are bored?  This family!  I like to supplement the boxes with 1 or 2 things I find at thrift stores or garage sales.  This system has worked really, really well.

Just another way we try to save pennies so we can give all we can to our adoption, and savings for our future children's healthcare.

Another quick update

The major components of our home study were sent off today!  Shouldn't be long now!  we have a lot of work to do, but now we can see the light at the end of the home study tunnel.  zack was just saying the other day that it really doesnt feel real.  It feels like a lot of paperwork, which, lol, it is.  When he was training and running and selling soap, that was palpable to him.  Now it's like, what's going on?  Even for me as I've been doing a majority of the paper chasing, it feels less like something exciting and more like something... I don't know... Papery?  Well in any case, we can sense progress and that is exciting!

Home Study - update

We are almost there!  First of all, we have all the money we need for the home study and the second payment to our placement agency.  BIG BIG BIG AWESOMENESS!!!  We are completing the initial paperwork part of our home study.  We got family photos taken this past week and also did our health exams.  Step by step we keep inching forward.  It's really getting exciting for us - each step makes this more and more real!  Next we will be doing our home visits with a social worker and finishing up the paperwork part.  So exciting!

Now, here's a few of my favorite photos from our family pictures.  Do you think they say, "We are fun and warm and would like you to join us"?