Fleece

I think my little ones are waking up from their naps, but I wanted to post this.

Back story!  My son Kian has a Veggie Tales video about the Bible character Gideon.  He trusted God to help him when he was called to lead a teensy army in a battle that looked completely impossible to win.  Not only did he win it, but God did all the work for him.  All he needed to do was trust!  Gideon wasn't sure at first, however, and so God gracefully allowed him to "put out a fleece" and to test if God was surely in this calling.  His tests pointed him to the fact that God was indeed calling him to this and could be trusted to fulfill his promise.  It's a cute video - I encourage the watching of it.  "Gideon, the Tuba Warrior" or something like that.  Anyway, what struck me is the fact that we are teaching our children these things.  Do I fully believe them?  Do I put these things into practice?  Do I trust God?  Do I believe that he will help us in what he's called us to?  After introspection and review - yes.

Admittedly, I also was sortof inspired by the fleece idea.  The next day I decided to lay one out.  Partly in jest, I prayed "God, if the doctors are on time today ( ), then I will know that you are in this adoption idea (it's been seeming more and more crazy), and you will help us through."  In all truthfulness, I did think in my head that even if they were late as usual, we'd still go through with the adoption.  I don't know of all the theological ramifications of that little point, I'm sure one could dissect that more if one had the desire.  "Your fleece was stupid if it wouldn't have changed your mind anyway, Rachel" could be one potential thought, .  Ahem, be that as it may, let's continue, cuz here's where it gets pretty cool, .

When I arrived, the midwife was already there.  I want to say that again.  Jessica was already there.  Trust me on this, that's pretty cool.  It's maaaaaaybe happened one other time to me since I've worked there.  K.  "Woah," I thought, pausing pensively with a slight dismissal being still unconvinced that my fleece is not a stupid idea, "but Dr Cain still has to be on time".  Hey, little red devil, let's just see what happens, shall we?  Cuz - kablooie - in walks Dr Cain 20 minutes early.  That has happened more than once, albeit rarely.  That day it was because a scanner came that he wanted to play with and set up.  It was cool because it was supposed to come the day before, but came that day because the truck got lost! Divine intervention?  Distinct possibility.  Fleece?  Decidedly less and less stupid.

So there you have it.  What Veggie Tales has been telling Kian is true!!!  God is present and active and wants to help us!  As much as we get discouraged with the rising hurdles that come up in this process, I know more certainly now that God will surprise us and come through.  I don't know why I ever questioned it, but Thanks for the assurance, God.  You're awesome.

Snots

Poor Logan has just had a horrible time this winter.  He's getting over the second cold of his life.  It's been two weeks of coughing nights and can't-breathe-through-nose junkies.  When you consider that the first illness put him in the hospital and we were clearing snot from his nose for a full month afterwards, it feels like he's been sick his whole life!  I thought breastfeeding really helps with this kind of thing... But it hasn't saved me from what seems like endless nasal suction for 7 of my baby's 16 weeks thus far.  This flu season has kicked my tender behind.  Don't let the door hit you on your way out, flu season 2012/13.  Or I hope it does.  Either way, be gone!

MONEY - diapers

Adoption is expensive.  It's the number one reason I hear from others as to why they feel they cannot adopt.  The costs can seem astronomical, especially here at the outset.  Believe me when I say, Zack and I share this sentiment.  We do not have a lot of money to throw around.  Therefore, Zack and I are trusting in the Lord and his provision.  He has already provided for us in ways we never thought we'd get to witness.  We are planning on doing some fundraising.  First and foremost in importance, however, we feel it necessary to bring our personal finances and savings in humble submission to God.  If I was giving to a cause like this, it would  be encouraging to know that they are trying to be good stewards.  Thats what we aspire to be.
  In a series of posts about this topic, I'd like to highlight ways that we try to save money where we can.  Also ways we try to use our spending power to do good.  This has been heavy on our minds as we begin the adoption process- how can we maximize the money we already have?
  The picture I've included is one way we are trying to do just that.  Yes, since Kian was born, we have been one of those "cloth - diapering" parents.  The picture is a representation of my stash.  About half of the parents we know also do this, so we are not alone.  There are several different approaches.  There are many fantastic options in the cloth diapering world, yet many have large up front costs.  All in ones, pocket, hemp, fleece, organic cotton, etc.
  We decided early on that we were quite happy with buying a few covers (the colorful ones in the picture), and using hand me down diapers from my mother.  To that we ended up adding some cheap gerber trifolds from an amish store, a few more covers bought second hand, and a few more cloth hand me downs from a friend.  (i love knowing that we are using diapers that were on my butt!  these things are lasting generations!)  We also use cloth wipes.  When our second one was to be born, we knew we would need more of those in our stash (hello, twice the poop!).  I bought flannel and terry on sale (a few bucks), and made some of my own.  I hardly feel more thrifty when making one diaper purchase every other month (we use pampers at night and with certain sitters).  So there you have it.  Maybe the second cheapest way one can do cloth diapers (besides good old rubber pants, which we do also own just in case we get in a bind!)
   On average, those with two in diapers spend about $80- 100 a month on pampers.  We spend about $10.  Sometimes nothing.  Hooray for saving money! When trying to eke out for adoption expenses, every little bit counts!

PAPERWORK - agency

We think we chose one!  We decided on an out-of-state agency.  We would have to use a separate home study agency, but we decided that that wasn't a big deal to us.  This agency really seems to specialize in special needs and has the most experience in Ukraine that we found.  Also, the aid they provide to the unadopted is extensive.  So there you have it!  Printed out the application this weekend and will try to fill it out this week.  Some essays that seem daunting, but I'm sure won't be too bad.

Proudly marching where we are led

It's 5am over here.  I was just up with our littlest (3mo old).  He's ben asleep for a bit, but I'm up thinking about this adoption.
   This happens a lot these days.  I wouldn't say that I'm consumed with worry.  Not at all.  I wouldn't say that I'm paralyzed by fear.  Hardly.  I consider these moments of nervous vulnerability... counting the cost.  It even gives me some comfort to know that I'm uncomfortable.  This discomfort lets me know that I'm going into a place where God will be present, and since I have faith in his trustworthiness, that's a big deal.  Stretching, to me, equals growth.  Heaven knows I'm all for growth.  As my grandmother taught me, you must always be going forward.  So forward we march!  Yet to say that I have pure unadulterated confidence, and not a hint of nerves, would be lying.  We are being called to trust in a lot of big ways.  Trust for provisions, trust for healing, trust in a big God to fill the big gaps in our human-ness.  We are entering this devine calling as humans.  That is never more evident to me than when I'm sitting awake in the wee hours in the dark with nothing but my thoughts.
  
   We have not taken this journey lightly.  I think some of my immediate family has asked some very important questions to that effect, and I hope that we have been able to adequately assure them.  They will be a big part of our children's lives, so we want them on board but also assured of our commitment.  We have been taking some measures to ensure that we stay focused on prayer here in these early days.

   Zack had been fasting every Monday from 7pm Sunday night to 6pm Monday night.  He spends that time in reflection and prayer.  I have been fasting from my phone every day until 2pm except for calls and texts.  That means blogs, internet, pinterest, facebook, etc.  Every time I think of picking up my phone to check a blog or look something up, I say a prayer for leading and for this adoption.  The days get so full so fast and we often forget to sit down together and pray.  These deliberate actions keep prayer happening when it is of utmost importance.  We don't have a support network per se of others who have walked this road.  Prayer is our lifeline.

  Please join us in prayer.  Count the cost for yourself.  What part can you play in God's work in the world?

a bit of life

Let's take a leisurely jaunt through the fascinating mind of a toddler, shall we?

Mission: usurp attention!
Stand by for breastfeeding session or rocking to sleep...
Troops mobilize!  Lower lip pout!  Hang onto leg! Go go go!

Exhibit A:
Rice.  Definitely NOT food.  Yeeeee-ugch

Exhibit B:
Paper towel roll with bits still stuck to it.  Definitely food.  Mmmmmm.

The wonders of the toddler mind never cease.

A new chapter

Here we are together again.  I have doubts anyone will read this post, but perhaps when we are further in our adoption journey someone will want to go back and read the beginnings.  So that's what this post is. 
   First I'll wrap up the previous posts.  In short, the house became "Living Acts", a place of intentional community where several of us lived and experimented with faith and life.  It was a good chapter, one I am grateful for.  We had our first child, Kian, in 2011 and Logan 2 months ago.  Before which we had moved to the house we purchased.  The Living Acts program had a beginning and an end, and now we are collaborating together with other area churches to form a new vision for the house.
  This is our next chapter.  We (Zack and Rachel) are pursuing international special needs adoption.  We have been praying and fasting about this calling for about a year.  Through a random post of a friend of a friend on facebook, we found Reece's Rainbow.  The need of the special needs orphan was weighed heavy on our hearts from the moment we saw "Susan's" (pseudomym) picture.  she was adopted in her country (which we rejoice in) but the plight of so many if her kind nagged us.  Now that we are settling onto a routine with our youngest, we are ready to pursue this.
   Stay tuned.  And pray, please.